Lyrics

Got a need to reveal- A confessional fetish Think I’ve lost my appeal I’m not feeling too mannish When I speak words of love It’s like bad high school Spanish How can I keep it real When my girlfriends all vanish? If I’m desperate I shoot for the low-hanging fruit But I’m always prepared for the point of the boot Just last night I was working this hag down the hall She said, “Dude you’ve got balls, But I don’t do booty calls.” Cynthia- come to me Cynthia- come to me Soon I will be fast asleep Let’s meet somewhere in Italy Cynthia- come to me Cynthia- come to me We’ll make love out on the beach Let’s write ourselves a history I love how you smile I love how you kiss and I love when we talk you just sit there and listen You must know by now I’m a man on a mission I raced home from work, hurried up in the kitchen A joint and some wine- that’ll settle down my mind If I’m anxious remind me there’s no one half as kind Didn’t look in my book ‘Cause I knew what I would find- Girls who cry, girls who whine Girls who lie, lie, lie, lie Cynthia- come to me Cynthia- come to me Soon I will be fast asleep Let’s meet somewhere in Italy Cynthia- come to me Cynthia- come to me We’ll make love out on the beach Let’s write ourselves a history I’ll be splendid in your eye Like a monarch butterfly We’ll be naked you and I You might be bored but you won’t sigh Just sit tight and mystify I’ll be splendid in your eye Like a monarch butterfly We’ll be naked you and I You might be bored but you won’t sigh Goodnight cruel world Oh, hell- Goodbye Cynthia- come to me Cynthia- come to me Soon I will be fast asleep Let’s meet somewhere in Italy Cynthia- come to me Cynthia- come to me We can make love all night long Or at least until I’ve gotta pee.

A toothless cur All piss and vinegar Just ask around I’m not the nicest fella in this town But i think lucy’s gonna change me All of the goodwill i’ve been saving Goes to my girl next door She raises me I couldn’t see What I had next to me She’d known it all Witnessed the rise, the stumble and the fall But I think lucy’s gonna change me All of the goodwill I’ve been saving Goes to my girl next door She raises me I’m getting slammed by the hands of a wicked clock Till I want to drop But what’s an old man to do if he’s gotta rock? I will never stop And lucy’s got a masterplan A blueprint for a better man Now when i hiss She kills the devil with a healthy kiss I try to bite- I can’t break skin If I’m within her sight So I think Lucy’s gonna change me etc.

Met her in a classroom At my alma mater true- A lecture on the works of Albert Camus Didn’t read a thing I was merely auditing Earned my last credits back in ’72 There I was Dancin’ in her dorm room to a heavy buzz Reaching for my vial of Viagra ‘cause I can’t subdue my passion but my blood flow does Well there’s no fool Like an old fool I’m here for trouble- can you tell me the rules? I like old stuff And I’m old school But I’m still stuck on what the babies can do Started on the bo-flex Looking for some new pecs I found arthritis and a tubful of Percs Went for botox Till I had to detox The doctors gave me a perennial smirk There I am Helping her to study for a big exam The book is called “America in Vietnam” We reached the year that I became Canadian Well there’s no fool Like an old fool I’m here for trouble- can you tell me the rules? I like old stuff And I’m old school But I’m still stuck on what the babies can do In a sweater on the grass In the fresh New England fall In my arms, my dream- at last! Then my baby starts to bawl She said “Man, it’s really sad- But I keep thinking ‘bout my dad….” Now she’s got a new bud Says he likes to drink blood Charmed her with a black rose Posing in her pantyhose Guess I’ve reached my autumn years It’s becoming oh so clear I’ve seen the last of those fine bottles of wine Give me one more chance- Before they toss my old ass in an ambulance Somehow I am going to find a new romance- I must relearn “The Hustle” for the seniors’ dance And there’s no fool Like an old fool (I never knew that I could be so uncool) I’m an old hound But I still drool Too late to send me to obedience school Well there’s no fool Like an old fool I’m here for trouble- can you tell me the rules? I like old stuff And I’m old school But I’m still stuck on what the babies can do

If you were weak you didn’t show it Well we logged in some time as we locked up our thighs Then we looked in the mirrors that passed for our eyes It was air for the drowning not love on the rise You knew where i stood When things aren’t good We all need a remedy I need a remedy now My mind’s been derailed- won’t you help re-connect it? I need a remedy now My spirit’s immune but my body’s addicted Get past the thinking and the chatter Desire’s the only thing that matters When your footing’s unstable you reach for a brace When your lungs are disabled, you find them some space When my heart has been tabled i pick up the pace You know where I am Please come if you can We all need a remedy, etc.

Elaine- she thinks that no one knows her name She shakes- and lays the icing on the cakes Just a quiet counter girl Hidden from the world Waiting for someone to find her Tamping coffee grounds She moves without a sound I want to put my arms around her You- you made the headlines in my dreams I am the newsboy who will scream You made the headlines! You made the headlines! I’m sure she really rather work the floor (that’s where the money is) She sighs and pulls the hair back from her eyes (that’s where the honey is) The market’s going down The pope is back in town And someone’s dropped a bomb on broadway The madam to the stars The king of stolen cars It’s all there in “the post” and “newsday” But you- you made the headlines in my dream I am the newsboy who will scream You made the headlines! You made the headlines! Elaine- you thought i didn’t know your name Ya’ see- i bring the news each day with me The market’s going down The pope is back in town And someone’s dropped a bomb on broadway The madam to the stars The king of stolen cars It’s all there in “the post” and “newsday” But you- you made the headlines in my dreams I am the newsboy who will scream You made the headlines! You made the headlines! You made the headlines! You made the headlines! You made the headlines!